as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
