I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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