So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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