i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
