I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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