guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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