she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
