kristin has been a bad kristin
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
