So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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