Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
