I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
