i just had sex bonerless
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
