So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
