So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
