RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
