I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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