ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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