I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
