Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
