I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
