I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
