You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
