You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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