Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
