too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
