ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
