Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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