so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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