When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Randomize
