i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
There are leaves in my underwear?
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