Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
