This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
