He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
