Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
