if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
