That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
