did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Never underestimate the power of titties
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize