Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
