i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
kristin has been a bad kristin
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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