the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
