his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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