lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
