Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
