I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Who died my cat blue again?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
