How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
