Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
