flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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