I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize