I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
