So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
