Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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