Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
His nipple licking is glorious
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