the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
