i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
