I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
