would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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