I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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