new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
