omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize