it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
