i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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