he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
