My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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