forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You pole danced in your parka.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
