You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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