My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
